Written: 11.30 pm 28-05-09
Well, felt like writing about something today, all day, not knowing what exactly to write, how to begin and how to end. And I desperately wanted the day to end to start writing. Its been a year now, exactly. 28th of May was the day.
Getting my microprocessor journal signed had driven me mad for the whole of yesterday and then I start preparing for my microwave lab internal, which finally went all well, today. So all I did yesterday after coming back from college was to try and remember how we conducted microwave lab throughout the semester. Though I didn’t remember much, I did enjoy the time remembering the fun we had in this lab.
It was drizzling then. As I moved out giving my HDL lab internal, I heaved a sigh of relief. I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything the whole day and it was almost 4 pm. I had to rush back to the room, pack and leave as fast as possible to Hubli and I knew I could well get stuck as it was overcast, thundering and about to rain. I ran like anything, thundered into the room past my friends, all happy and playing cricket as usual in the rain which had slowly grown and wet me. I packed my bag in a hurry and walked down the stairs. They were all so happy, my friends. It’s a different feeling to play when it rains. I waved at them looking into the rains as they shouted one by one - take care gaja- hog bale gaja-etc-bye le gaja…
I had to run again to the bus stop, luckily to catch the bus the instant I reached the stop. Sitting in the bus, as I cleared my lens my right eyebrow danced, not once but thrice. Suddenly I felt my brother will be all fine.
I woke up today with these pictures fresh in my eyes. I kept thinking why this dream all of a sudden, from nowhere, all the time as I got ready to go for my microwave lab internal. Well, I had to think about lot more other things and this thought slowly drifted away.
I had finished my microcontroller lab internal by around 4, it was Wednesday, 28 may 08. Must have been 5 pm when I was sitting in our owner’s house watching an IPL match. That was when I got the news. I knew the minute I heard her voice that something was wrong. My mother told me that he had seriously injured his leg, that there were multiple fractures, that he had lost litres of blood, and that his life was not in danger. The only good news was the last one. Though all this happened in the morning I was given the news at 5. I was outraged first but then I realised that it was for my good. I called them up, his sisters. It felt a little easy. I had another must-give HDL lab internal the next day .so I couldn’t go to see him right away. All evening I couldn’t study, neither did I call anybody. I felt it would be simply more upsetting to listen any more from my depressed mother, and I had this feeling that she was holding back from telling me in detail how serious it was. I don’t know when I slept away. Never in my life did I wake up voluntarily at 4 in the morning. I was surprised to see the open door, my roommate had obviously forgotten to latch it. I think god woke me up cos I had to study some 50 odd HDL programs by 1pm. My friend in the other room had also woken up and I joined him and without thinking much started with my programs. I had finished them all by 12 30 and then had rushed to the college. I had completely forgotten to eat.
I was not at all worried about my microwave lab, somehow we knew our madam would be lenient, plus it was not so difficult one too ,I mean the ones which we had performed properly. The only problem was that we hadn’t performed many of the experiments properly, had just noted down the values (from the girls obviously). And I intended to do the same even in the internal too as I knew that 2 persons will get the same expt. I only hoped the other one was a girl. As I filled the date of my internal sheet in the lab, it struck me. 28-may-09. It was the same day a year ago that he had met with an accident that took away his life. I was hurt, upset, may be that I completely forgot, and the dream, yes, how it had remembered the date. It was obvious that me being so poor with the dates had forgotten it. But yes, somewhere inside me was this conscience which didn’t forget, which tried to remind me through his dream.
I was troubled by an odd feeling the whole day. I couldn’t wait for the day to end. I felt it would have been only so good if I had never remembered. For then, this weird feeling would never originate. I wished not to hear any such terrible news today, again for it would be impossible to bear it out again. I kept on thinking how I had my lab internal again on the same date this time around as well, with another one to go tomorrow. I wished the coincidence to end with the internal dates only and nothing more. I am happy that this wish of mine has come true.
So, I waited for the night to come, hoping that nothing bad would happen so that I could then peacefully write.
I have 50 odd microprocessor programs to do now, yet, I am at peace. I think I have written enough for now. Also, I don’t believe the significance attached to the dancing eyebrows anymore.
Well, felt like writing about something today, all day, not knowing what exactly to write, how to begin and how to end. And I desperately wanted the day to end to start writing. Its been a year now, exactly. 28th of May was the day.
Getting my microprocessor journal signed had driven me mad for the whole of yesterday and then I start preparing for my microwave lab internal, which finally went all well, today. So all I did yesterday after coming back from college was to try and remember how we conducted microwave lab throughout the semester. Though I didn’t remember much, I did enjoy the time remembering the fun we had in this lab.
It was drizzling then. As I moved out giving my HDL lab internal, I heaved a sigh of relief. I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything the whole day and it was almost 4 pm. I had to rush back to the room, pack and leave as fast as possible to Hubli and I knew I could well get stuck as it was overcast, thundering and about to rain. I ran like anything, thundered into the room past my friends, all happy and playing cricket as usual in the rain which had slowly grown and wet me. I packed my bag in a hurry and walked down the stairs. They were all so happy, my friends. It’s a different feeling to play when it rains. I waved at them looking into the rains as they shouted one by one - take care gaja- hog bale gaja-etc-bye le gaja…
I had to run again to the bus stop, luckily to catch the bus the instant I reached the stop. Sitting in the bus, as I cleared my lens my right eyebrow danced, not once but thrice. Suddenly I felt my brother will be all fine.
I woke up today with these pictures fresh in my eyes. I kept thinking why this dream all of a sudden, from nowhere, all the time as I got ready to go for my microwave lab internal. Well, I had to think about lot more other things and this thought slowly drifted away.
I had finished my microcontroller lab internal by around 4, it was Wednesday, 28 may 08. Must have been 5 pm when I was sitting in our owner’s house watching an IPL match. That was when I got the news. I knew the minute I heard her voice that something was wrong. My mother told me that he had seriously injured his leg, that there were multiple fractures, that he had lost litres of blood, and that his life was not in danger. The only good news was the last one. Though all this happened in the morning I was given the news at 5. I was outraged first but then I realised that it was for my good. I called them up, his sisters. It felt a little easy. I had another must-give HDL lab internal the next day .so I couldn’t go to see him right away. All evening I couldn’t study, neither did I call anybody. I felt it would be simply more upsetting to listen any more from my depressed mother, and I had this feeling that she was holding back from telling me in detail how serious it was. I don’t know when I slept away. Never in my life did I wake up voluntarily at 4 in the morning. I was surprised to see the open door, my roommate had obviously forgotten to latch it. I think god woke me up cos I had to study some 50 odd HDL programs by 1pm. My friend in the other room had also woken up and I joined him and without thinking much started with my programs. I had finished them all by 12 30 and then had rushed to the college. I had completely forgotten to eat.
I was not at all worried about my microwave lab, somehow we knew our madam would be lenient, plus it was not so difficult one too ,I mean the ones which we had performed properly. The only problem was that we hadn’t performed many of the experiments properly, had just noted down the values (from the girls obviously). And I intended to do the same even in the internal too as I knew that 2 persons will get the same expt. I only hoped the other one was a girl. As I filled the date of my internal sheet in the lab, it struck me. 28-may-09. It was the same day a year ago that he had met with an accident that took away his life. I was hurt, upset, may be that I completely forgot, and the dream, yes, how it had remembered the date. It was obvious that me being so poor with the dates had forgotten it. But yes, somewhere inside me was this conscience which didn’t forget, which tried to remind me through his dream.
I was troubled by an odd feeling the whole day. I couldn’t wait for the day to end. I felt it would have been only so good if I had never remembered. For then, this weird feeling would never originate. I wished not to hear any such terrible news today, again for it would be impossible to bear it out again. I kept on thinking how I had my lab internal again on the same date this time around as well, with another one to go tomorrow. I wished the coincidence to end with the internal dates only and nothing more. I am happy that this wish of mine has come true.
So, I waited for the night to come, hoping that nothing bad would happen so that I could then peacefully write.
I have 50 odd microprocessor programs to do now, yet, I am at peace. I think I have written enough for now. Also, I don’t believe the significance attached to the dancing eyebrows anymore.
its been a year. i still cant believe it.
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